sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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