Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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