Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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