i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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