marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
