WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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