are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
