You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
