just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
