I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
