It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
