Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
