yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
