the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
