you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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