I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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