you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
