Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
