I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
