im drinking this country out of the recession.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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