why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
