Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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