wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
