Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
