At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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