YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
