I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
