we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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