Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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