Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

   Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard. 

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  (734): Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.  http://tfl.nu/9e9a
  Replies (4) Good night (822) Bad night (922)
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  (310): View more from California

  so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.

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  (310): so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking. http://tfl.nu/vds8
  Replies (9) Good night (2486) Bad night (544)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.

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  (913): I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me. http://tfl.nu/mpf5
  Replies (5) Good night (1007) Bad night (1828)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.

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  (604): i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later. http://tfl.nu/i15d
  Replies (41) Good night (900) Bad night (7001)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend

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  (937): they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend http://tfl.nu/tkif
  Replies (9) Good night (4176) Bad night (714)
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  (914): View more from New York

  just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix

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  (914): just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix http://tfl.nu/hrwb
  Replies (22) Good night (864) Bad night (3097)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.

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  (905): I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now. http://tfl.nu/wxpj
  Replies (35) Good night (15389) Bad night (1481)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.

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  (843): all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies. http://tfl.nu/8ixd
  Replies (9) Good night (4111) Bad night (1057)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.

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  (403): you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape. http://tfl.nu/to8s
  Replies (15) Good night (4648) Bad night (875)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests

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  (973): Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests http://tfl.nu/b1y9
  Replies (10) Good night (3901) Bad night (949)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms

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  (503): And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms http://tfl.nu/1av4
  Replies (7) Good night (2398) Bad night (777)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.

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  (859): In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing. http://tfl.nu/n1s5
  Replies (4) Good night (3112) Bad night (617)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.

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  (636): Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk. http://tfl.nu/yiv2
  Replies (1) Good night (888) Bad night (439)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.

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  (757): Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min. (540): He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd. http://tfl.nu/sjx0
  Replies (1) Good night (744) Bad night (328)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.

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  (419): Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down. http://tfl.nu/vl8q
  Replies (2) Good night (683) Bad night (260)

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