Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm pants shitting drunk right now

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(734): I'm pants shitting drunk right now http://tfl.nu/z85l

Replies (4) Good night (854) Bad night (863)
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(+27): View more from South Africa

This girl is more easily done than said...

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(+27): This girl is more easily done than said... http://tfl.nu/38ha

Replies (5) Good night (3304) Bad night (730)
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(813): View more from Florida

I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.

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(813): I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came. http://tfl.nu/sa7y

Replies (30) Good night (7149) Bad night (875)
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(661): View more from California

i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.

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(661): i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally. http://tfl.nu/2rgg

Replies (12) Good night (2597) Bad night (900)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.

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(250): i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay. http://tfl.nu/ht4h

Replies (15) Good night (6566) Bad night (574)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.

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(865): I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it. http://tfl.nu/q5jx

Replies (38) Good night (842) Bad night (13824)
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(404): View more from Georgia

i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay

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(404): i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay http://tfl.nu/pvcx

Replies (16) Good night (5161) Bad night (3451)
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(248): View more from Michigan

whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes

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(248): whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes http://tfl.nu/s924

Replies (10) Good night (3456) Bad night (1296)
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(515): View more from Iowa

IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.

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(515): IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard. http://tfl.nu/ob2l

Replies (1) Good night (894) Bad night (1759)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.

(1+44): View more from

When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.

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(+44): You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man. (1+44): When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree. http://tfl.nu/esvb

Replies (9) Good night (1661) Bad night (1015)
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(559): View more from California

she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.

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(559): she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer. http://tfl.nu/y0m8

Replies (8) Good night (867) Bad night (1964)
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(707): View more from California

You rang?

(405): View more from Oklahoma

Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.

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(707): You rang? (405): Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone. http://tfl.nu/xnwm

Replies (15) Good night (2336) Bad night (763)
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(760): View more from California

Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.

(619): View more from California

I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.

(760): View more from California

I referred to the cat as amicable.

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(760): Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat. (619): I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race. (760): I referred to the cat as amicable. http://tfl.nu/ls44

Replies (4) Good night (1508) Bad night (502)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.

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(601): You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass. http://tfl.nu/96n6

Replies (7) Good night (2276) Bad night (418)
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(914): View more from New York

Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?

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(914): Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion? http://tfl.nu/d942

Replies (0) Good night (723) Bad night (628)

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