Texts From Last Night

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  (44): View more from England

  What's everyones problem with my costume?!

  (1-44): View more from England

  It looks like a unicorn came on your face.

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  (44): What's everyones problem with my costume?! (1-44): It looks like a unicorn came on your face. http://tfl.nu/f20r
  Replies (26) Good night (977) Bad night (2587)
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  (650): View more from California

  dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning

  (805): View more from California

  1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.

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  (650): dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning (805): 1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992. http://tfl.nu/ljqj
  Replies (31) Good night (4821) Bad night (906)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.

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  (309): I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket. http://tfl.nu/mff0
  Replies (11) Good night (4102) Bad night (583)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.

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  (248): I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent. http://tfl.nu/jxt2
  Replies (108) Good night (14103) Bad night (1348)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks

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  (909): my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks http://tfl.nu/7ncm
  Replies (16) Good night (1224) Bad night (4331)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.

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  (815): He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet. http://tfl.nu/dtlg
  Replies (6) Good night (2478) Bad night (1863)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.

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  (419): PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me. http://tfl.nu/iheo
  Replies (1) Good night (2104) Bad night (704)
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  (916): View more from California

  I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished 

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  (916): I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished  http://tfl.nu/f0m1
  Replies (7) Good night (1007) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.

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  (339): Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning. http://tfl.nu/1tmw
  Replies (0) Good night (402) Bad night (570)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?

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  (508): Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"? http://tfl.nu/vwsz
  Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.

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  (702): I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get. http://tfl.nu/37ej
  Replies (0) Good night (725) Bad night (274)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months

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  (703): just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months http://tfl.nu/j2ye
  Replies (0) Good night (383) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.

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  (225): A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening. (225): 2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD. http://tfl.nu/o2xa
  Replies (3) Good night (410) Bad night (265)
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  (619): View more from California

  you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle

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  (619): you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle http://tfl.nu/c9ca
  Replies (3) Good night (297) Bad night (823)
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  (530): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other

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  (530): I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other http://tfl.nu/k3vc
  Replies (1) Good night (759) Bad night (200)

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