I'm jealous of your bromance
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.