So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.