Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
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Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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