Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
