She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
