i already hear my dad disowning me
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
