You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
