i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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