i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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