We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize