He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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