also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
