he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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