What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
