Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
