Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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