You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
