I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
