My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
