my soul wont recognize me after tonight
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
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APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
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Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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