I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
