No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
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My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
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I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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