ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
