party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You don't make any sense
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