You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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