That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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