i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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