Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize