Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
