Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
should my penis look like a turkey
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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