Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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