About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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