ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize