so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
