That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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