i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
