i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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