She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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